The start of September always seems like a natural time for reflection, goal setting, and what I like to think of as a ‘mental spring clean’. So I felt like sharing some thoughts on my experience so far as an independent Birmingham escort.
What a blast it’s been
To put it simply, the journey (so far) has been incredible. Deciding to become a GFE provider has brought so many blessings into my life, that it’s hard to count them all. I’ve met some wonderful people that have showed me nothing but warmth and affection. I’ve had some intense and exciting sexual experiences that dazzled me, and taught me a lot about my own sexuality. I’ve been treated to nights of luxury in some of the country’s best hotels and restaurants, that will remain treasured memories for years to come. I’ve met some very successful, intelligent, and inspiring men, that make me feel valued and teach me things that have enriched all areas of my life.
Every person that enters any form of sex work must have nerves, misgivings or apprehension when they make the decision to do so, not knowing what lies in front of them. Sometimes in life, you just can’t know if a choice is the right one until you until you take it and see how things work out. And the brilliant time I’ve had since becoming an escort has shown me that it was definitely the right decision for me – one of the best I’ve ever made!
Fears, assumptions, and misconceptions
Before we actually have any personal experience of the sex industry, as a client or as a provider, many of us fancy some very vivid notions of what it may be like; based on films, TV and music. And I’m certainly no exception. So here are some of my fears, assumptions, and misconceptions about escorting that I’m very happy to have been proved wrong about.
1. It’s all about late nights – This might seem like a strange one, but it surprised me initially that many of my dates take place during the daytime. Although I’m a night owl, and don’t mind staying up far beyond a sensible bedtime, it’s nice to have a varied schedule and also enjoy dates during daylight hours.
2. Clients just want you to ‘play a part’ – I did have minor concerns, that many clients would be hoping for a delicate and agreeable nymph more than a real-life girlfriend connection. That they would be happiest if you just turn up looking pretty, and then spend the booking duration smiling sweetly and keeping your thoughts and opinions to yourself. Although I do find it a turn on to be ‘objectified’ in a sexual manner, I was uneasy with the idea of acting like a cute little ‘doll’. As it turns out though, most men are complex, interesting and thoughtful individuals, who are stimulated by the same. During my bookings, I don’t ‘play a part’, I just play myself – only my best, hottest, sexiest self.
3. You lose interest in sex – You know that saying, that if you work in a chip shop, you never want to come home to chips for tea. I have a high sex drive and sex is my chosen vice, so you can imagine my worry that by having a more active sex life than I had done previously, it may affect my desire. The worry was not completely unfounded, as since becoming an escort, my sex drive definitely has been affected – but in a very positive way! Sharing wild sexual encounters with strangers (that quickly become friends) is a very addictive kind of thrill. It has increased my (already quite high) level of confidence in the bedroom, and has increased my skill level too of course – so now I look forward to sexual encounters even more than I did before; feeling relaxed in the knowledge that I have the physical and also the verbal/communication techniques necessary, to make it a great experience for my date, and also for myself. I have realised that a love of sex is a passion you can nurture like any other, and I am always trying to learn new things about it, whether from books, films, or personal experience.
And some preconceptions that are true!
For balance, I should probably say that some of the glittery ideas I had about my new secret life as a (super high class) escort have turned out to be accurate. Here are some pleasing highlights:
1. You get a taste for the finer things in life – If only the broke university student Summer could have glimpsed into the future, to see herself drinking fine wines, eating (vegan) caviar, and being gifted Chanel and Agent Provocateur… I think she would have become an escort all the sooner! Wonderful treats like these are never expected, but they always so appreciated, and they just bring that extra level of excitement to a date.
2. You get to hang around with super hot girls all the time – Wow, what can I say. As a bisexual who loves a threesome, getting paid to get it on with with my stunning escort friends is almost too good to be true. I have met some really incredible women through escorting, who have become firm friends, including a few who have also become my favoured duo partners. And I must admit, I have one or two secret crushes on escorts I haven’t met yet, but very much hope to. Here’s to manifesting those dates.
3. You live a secret double life – I do enjoy this part, although that’s only because we are fortunate enough in the UK for prostitution to be legal, so my secret is not an incriminating one. Long gone are the days when only drug dealers would have two mobiles, and now lots of people carry two (or more) devices, so fortunately using two phones doesn’t lead to any awkward questions. Nobody bats an eyelid when I get an indecent proposal texted to me on my indecent phone, and then I make my excuses and disappear, to get dressed up to the nines, and make my way to my fancy man’s apartment with a handbag full of condoms and sex toys. Once, I met a friend for a cocktail on the way home from a booking, and when the security guard searched my bag on the way into the bar, he surveyed the contents (including stockings, a vibrator, assorted condoms, lube, and £400 in cash) quietly said “I like your style” and let me enter. My friend was none the wiser about what he’d seen…
Lessons I Have Learned
Aside from in depth knowledge of hotel reservation procedures and Ann Summers product ranges, there is a lot to be learned from being an escort. These are some valuable lessons that I have taken away and applied to other areas in life.
1. To be clear and accurate with your marketing – This may seem really obvious, but giving a clear idea through your marketing of who you are, and what you can (and can’t) offer is central to attracting the type of clients you desire, and those who will appreciate your service. I feel my website must give a good representation of what I am like, as I am lucky enough to have the most wonderful clients who I get on with and have lots in common with. I don’t think this is just a lesson to be applied to marketing efforts, but to many situations in life: know what your desires are, and make sure you express them clearly.
2. To create relationships with trusted and respected colleagues – Although new recruits to any industry will be advised of the importance of networking, it’s a different challenge when you are an independent escort. Unless you actively seek out opportunities to connect with other service providers, you could actually go the duration of your escorting career without meeting another escort. Having trusted peers to share your experiences and exchange advice with, is so important. A couple of months into my escorting career I was very pleased to be admitted to the Indie Collective, a friendly network of independent escorts based throughout England, and with that I gained an incredible group of clever, kind and supportive ladies to share my journey with. Thank you ladies 🧡
3. Not to allow people to push your boundaries – This is really an extension of number 1, to be clear what you can (and can’t) offer. Not every client is for you, the same as you are not for every client, and that’s OK. When people ask you to do things or act in a way they know you normally wouldn’t, you should never acquiesce to their demands, because they usually wouldn’t appreciate it anyway, and you would feel the unease of being outside your comfort zone from that point on. Being assertive while remaining polite and friendly is a indispensable skill to master and apply to all areas of your life, and since becoming an escort, I’ve perfected the art of saying ‘no’ to things I don’t want to do!
Goals and Plans for the Future
So far, my new life as a Girlfriend Experience provider has been a dream. As the secret fantasy girl for my clients, most days will be animated by a flirtatious text exchange, a spicy encounter on a date, or at least a filthy daydream about activities indulged in recently! I’ve also ticked off some sexual bucket list items, including being part of a foursome, being blindfolded, and being gifted a sex toy. All three were even better than I expected, so here are some new wish list items that I would love to be a part of my escorting experience over the coming year.
1. My first single female client – I’m sad to say that I have yet to entertain my first solo female client. I have had FF experiences, but never with in an escort/client context, and this is something I would really love to share with a bi-curious, bisexual or lesbian woman. Single ladies… put your hands up!
2. My first MMF threesome – I’m not sad to say that I’ve yet to entertain my first MMF threesome, but it is something I would love to experience at least once in this life! If you would too, let me know. Don’t be shy, come and email it quietly into my ear…
3. My first FMTY – So far, invitations to visit to clients, as well as my own tour plans, have seen me travelling to nearly every corner of the UK. And after spending two years stuck at home with my laptop and house plants, the sense of adventure this brings couldn’t be more welcome. Until now though, I have not been on a FMTY(or TMTY – these stand for Fly Me To You or Train Me To You) date to travel abroad to and meet a client in a foreign land, and that is something I would love to happen over the year to come.
Thank you to all of those who have been a party of the story so far and made it special for me – I hope you have as many amazing memories as I do.
Summer Dahlia 🧡xxx